Category: the Rant Board
All right. So everyone's going on about Chris Brown beating up Rihanna. My mother brought it up the other night at dinner. And I said: "She probably deserved it." That probably wasn't the case, but I know that 8 times out of ten, many women get hissy and pissant over the dumbest shit. Probably wasn't the case, but what made me mad was when she said no woman deserved to be treated that way.
What about guys? Sure, guys are stronger than women, and a guy could just walk away. But why is it abuse when a guy hits a woman, and never the other way around? It just makes me sick. I don't care who's stronger. I don't think anyone should be treated that way. It's always said that men aren't supposed to put their hands on a woman, but why is vice versa acceptable? It sickens me!
My take on it is that if you don't want people to hit you, then don't hit people. And that's the bottom line. Gender shouldn't have anything to do with it.
I'm not a physically violent person, but some of the double standards out there really erk me.
Am I the only one?
I agree. It shouldn't matter who you are, or what you are, for that, there isn't any reason why hitting should be acceptible. To me, it's kind of like for those people who, when a guy has more than one girl, it doesn't look bad, but when a girl is sleeping around, she is a "hoe", and soforth...just stereotypes that society has brought out. Now I'd surely like to know why guys think it's ok to cheat, and when a guy does it it doesn't look so awful, and they definitely dont get called such harsh names like girls do when they do it! So yeah, I can see where you're coming from on this. It's just one of those things that is viewed by society in a bit of a closed mind frame, but no, it is never right to cheat or hit, nor is there a set person who should run a relationship either because of their gender. i hate people who think that, or they say, "I am the man, so I run this relationship!", and that type of thing.
I agree with you Raven, but struggle with my parents situation. My father used to get drunk and hit my mother, and while noone does deserve that, I can possibly understand why. My mother is a very selfish rude agressive and arguementative person. She probably in his mind gave him lots of reasons, and so in my mind I struggle with the understanding that noone should be beaten, yet thinking that if anyone deserves such treatment, then she probably did. I suppose it says that he didn't deserve the way she treated him either which is more to the point. It's not just about don't hit if you don't want to get hit, but don't treat people in a way that could make them lose their temper. Sadly some people will always react badly and in a violent way.
I did once know a lady who used to beat her husband as well, he was an alcoholic, much smaller than her, and his behaviour upset and angered her so much she would beat him when he came home drunk. It's a sad world sometimes.
I also agree. I don't think there should be the double-standard. I think it's unacceptable in both situations and no, I don't think Rihanda deserved it. Nobody, male or female deserves to be beate. You can get sck over that all you want, but that's how the world is.
Women have always been seen as deleekit and fragill flowers and to be rough with it causes people to get alarmed. However! Men have been seen as big strong self protecting people and for a woman to hit a man is like a person trying to beet the hell out of an elephint with a bag of cotten balls. This is how it is viewed. If a man hits a woman, that would be like a big angry bare trying to play with an eight month old child. Yes I have grately exasirated on this but this is how men and women are pritty much biewed.
all i'm saying is, i hope reanna sees sense and does not stay with chris brown any longer. what he did was not right, and she should not have deserved it.
i hope he is seriously punished!
Kevin, my father also used to physically abuse my mother, but she's hit him too.
My whole point is, that it doesn't matter how hard someone hits, or how strong someone is. A hit is a hit, and if someone receives unwanted touching, that's what it is, and that's enough to piss someone off. It's human nature, no matter how bad it does or doesn't hurt.
no, your not the only one poster 1, i feel the same way, u hit someone just expect to be hit back, abuse is abuse, it's amazing how when a man claims he's been abused by his woman people laugh at him, don't believe him I can't stand that double standard either. what makes me even more sick to my stumike is when women try pulling that wild card, I can hit my man all I want and he's not allowed to hit me back. I'm not violent only in a situation I need to defend myself as well.
That's totally so true Raven. I really don't like the double standards out there. And yeah, abuse is abuse, no matter what gender that person might be. and it is so sickening
I agree that abuse is abuse, but most men (in general) are physically stronger than women, so the argument is that they could probably cause more damage if they did choose to be physically abusive. If a three-year-old child hits an adult, it isn't considered abuse, but if the situation were reversed, it would probably at least be on the radar. I'm not at all saying that abuse either way is justified, I'm simply pointing out why the popularly held views are so popular.
I see where you're coming from.
The reason why a three-year-old hitting an adult wouldn't be considered abuse is because they don't know any better. It's the same as saying that a retarded individual hitting another person isn't abuse. And that is the case for the very same reason.
Well, even if a three-year-old knew that hitting wasn't appropriate, it still wouldn't be considered abuse if it was directed towards an adult.
I agree with those who say violence should never be used and no person should have to hit another person, but if he, say, just found out she was cheating on him I think she deserved a strong emotional response and even a smack that is not overly harmful is super understandable (not that I know anything about this case, whether she was or not). A more suitable version for him would be just just walk away from her but saying you hope he gets punished for slapping her once and it's unforgiveable sin whereas she's ok, say, cheating on him and he just found out is wrong too, in fact very much so.
I don't believe in physical violence ever but I also think mental abuse may be even worse. When guys disagree it sometimes ends up in a short fight with a few punches thrown, flaring tempers but afterwards the fight is forgotten or forgiven, with women sometimes the fight drags out for years or mental abuse and revenge and punishment that I think may be more harmful to the person. I'm not really saying anything specific here, just pointing out that may be it's imprinted in us to deal with disagreements and strong emotions differently. I think violence should never be a soution for anyone or anything, and I both hope and am also pretty sure I'd never ever use it, no matter what the situation, but I can't be angry for a guy slapping a woman as a very strong emotional response, a prolong and systematic physical abuse is a different thing altogether and I believe children should never be hit, they don't know better and if they get used to it they'll pass it on, there are better ways of dealing with each other kids, but I think it's very hard to be so one sided as to just look at one slap out of context and draw a bunch of conclutions. I hope they figure out what they can do with their relationship and either break up or find a non violent way of being together.
It's just disturbing, the whole thing... Chalk it all up to celebrity drama. You hardly ever hear about domestic disputes on the news unless someone dies. But with celebrities, even if they're famous for five minutes, tey get all the attention.
I concur. Children shouldn't be hit because they'll be sure to pass it on. A few generations back, that may have worked, but recent generations are very different. There's more medicine and technology, and that changes people. If times change, people change, then punishments must change.
I know this is off-topic ...
It's not just medicine and technology, but experts even say that smacking children sends them mixed messages, and is detrimental to their mental and physical wellbeing.
I grew up ith smacking and yelling in the home. I'm not married, nor am I expecting children any time soon, but honestly, I can't even trust my own mum with them by herself. okay, tiny rant over ...
My parents used to hit me when I was much younger, too. I just showed them that hitting me didn't work by just acting much worse.
People have to learn though. When that's the way you're disciplined while you're growing up, then that is how most people go about disciplining their own children.